Gruesome Bread

I think this guy missed his calling as a special effects artist. Though I could go for an arm of bread right now...

Great Questions

I think the caller has a point.

Faith!

So Obama and McCain are going to be on CNN doing another one of those bullshit faith-based things. What's the deal with these? Televised pandering to evangelicals under the guise of "sharing" their own deeply personal convictions with the highly spiritual American people. What a bunch of crap. One of the things CNN said today was that evangelicals view Abortion and Gay Marriage as the two most important political issues. Seriously? It seems strange to me that the two issues that have the least impact on their own personal lives should be so important. That's like if atheist voters listed Rapture and Communion as their most important issues. Honestly, if any evangelical can show me the verse in the bible that says "Thou shalt stick thy nose in other people's assholes." I'll write a retraction.

Don't miss the pandering! Watch Saturday night at 8! Only on CNN!!!!!@#$%^&*

Rhinovirus

Having a cold sucks, but for the first time in my life I feel like I kicked its ass. With the help of DayQuil, Zicam, Afrin, some Orange Juice, and half a tree's worth of toilet paper, I've gone from the beginning stages of a cold to getting my taste back in 3 days. Great progress.

But other than that, I've been just working my life away as usual. Here's a cool thing I did for Shoot the Messenger last week.

Feelin' the Olympic pride.

Namibia

My friend Jon sent me this pic & text to go with it. Thought I'd share...

This is Dune 7, on the Atlantic coast of southwest Africa. It's one of the largest sand dunes in the world. This makes it really hard to slam a 40oz. of Carling Malt Liqueur and bear-climb to the top on all fours without puking or having a heart attack as fleet-footed seven year old girls beat you to the summit. It can and should be done, however. Long live the fighters.

It also illustrates why you should go to Namibia rather than hauling your Northface backpack through every bedbug infested hostel in London/Paris/Amsterdam/Berlin/etc. Don't be a Kafka: put that angry letter to your daddy on hold for a while, and try visiting a few new places, scary places, like Africa, or maybe Myanmar if you're a true individual.

Top 10 reasons you should go to Namibia:

1. It's winter there during our summer, so the weather is like San Diego.


2. It's inexpensive to go anywhere or do anything.


3. Everything is "Africanized": The bees, diseases, electrical outlets.


4. It's full of beautiful gem beaches, great whites swallowing entire dolphins, and other surreal animal experiences.


5. You can ride a camel across the dunes and pretend you're Peter O'Toole (but less drunk).


6. There are roads signs that say "Elephant Crossing"


7. The water is drinkable, everything works, everyone speaks English among other things, and there is almost no crime, malaria, or wars.


8. There is rule of law: you can only bribe the cops with chocolate.


9. People are very friendly, if not constantly aware of the guilt-inducing socioeconomic disparity created by your patronage.


10. You can tell all of your white friends about your "amazing experience in Africa"

McCain!

I made this stinger for Shoot the Messenger, as a response to Obama's world tour. Viva McCain's travels!